Learning

Today I told my boss that I didn't actually know how to do one of the jobs he always assigns me at the beginning (now middle) of the month. He asked how I had been doing it in the past and I said that I was just doing something that looked right hoping he wouldn't run into any problems with my numbers. He just kinda shook his head and said that I was starting to remind him of himself. And then he went on to lecture me about enjoying my youth while I had the chance by taking off and traveling and doing good on my school work.

Then I asked if I could have a week off in December.
He knew he had dug himself in a hole.
He said yes.

The Name Game

So, my new favorite game to play with my co-workers is called the name game. The fun thing about this game is that I am actually the only one aware that we are playing a game. It's great.
There is a good chunk of my day that I am trapped into answering the phones while the usual receptionist and the back up receptionist are out in the warehouse talking bad about people in Spanish so that the English speaking folk can't understand what the junk they are talking about. This is where the game begins.
All sorts of people call for random people here. They call and say, "this is so-and-so with this-and-that may I speak with whats-her-name?" And I'll page whats-her-name and say, "whats-her-name, you have so-and-so on line 2."
For me to properly explain my fun, I'll use what I did today as an example.

Ring Ring
"Thank you for calling Trakk, this is Vonda."
"Hi, Linda," and that's usually where I daydream about strangling myself (or the caller), "could I speak with Bossman please?"
"Actually, Bossman is out to lunch at the moment, may I take a message?"
"Yeah, This is Pamela with HP. Could you have him call me back?"
"Sure thing Pamela."

Then I write on a sticky note:

Terry, Emily from HP called.
Please call her back ASAP.
555-555-5555

Now I wait.

About an hour or so later I hear bossman on the phone:

"Ok, well I have a message right here from an Emily. Are you sure there is no Emily who works there? Ok, well how about you just make an announcement that Bossman from Trakk is on the phone and wants to know who called him."

Ten minutes later Bossman walks around the corner and says, "It's Pamela. Not Emily."

Vacation

I wasn't on vacation this last month...I just have been a little busy. And by busy I mean I have found a new hobby at work. I was walking through the warehouse and something magnificant caught the corner of my eye. it was the remnants of a wrapping tube. Now, a wrapping tube is a ginormous tube of thick saran wrap that the warehouse workers use to wrap pallets. The cardboard tube is a little bit longer than the measurement from my finger tips to my elbow and if fits around my arm...so the diameter is big. Good grief. I just got bored explaining that, so, sorry about that.

ANYWAY

I picked that up and decided to make it art. I grabbed it and my three highlighters and started coloring it. All of my free time has gone in to coloring this tube. It's pretty hideous. So, I am a little disappointed. That's why I am back here. I gave up on the tube.

The Honored Guests

We have guests coming to look at the facility today. Potential clients, boss man calls them. Which means when I walked in the door at 8:53 (53 minutes late...) the pungent smell of cleaning chemicals knocked me back a step. You know we really only clean when we know people are coming. My task was to clean the conference room. I walked in there and there was a box on the floor...so I picked it up.

That was it. Awesome.

Now I am opening a bucket full of mail. I am in charge of opening all of our sweepstakes mail...I keep hoping that someone will try to bribe me with some money...or candy even.

Solicitors

So...being a small business in a busy business neighborhood, we here at work get a ton of solicitors. And even though we have a "no soliciting" sign on the front door, they persist to march right on through the door and announce their sales pitch with puffed out chests and loud, proud voices. My boss' response varies with whatever mood he's in. Here are a few examples:

1. As the solicitor walks in someone will yell out some sort of warning which will prompt bossman to hop out of his seat, walk around the corner and with cold voice ask, "can I help you?" The solicitors usually shutter at the sound of his voice...it actually sends a shiver down their spine (and mine too...it's that scary). All of the sudden the room transforms into a battle field and Bossator and SoliciTron go into full combat until Solicitron limps and whimpers out the door, lacking any pride he walked in with.

2. When we see the solicitor approaching someone [again] will holler out a caution in the bossman's general direction and He'll say he will be right there. When the solicitor walks in and asks for whoever is in charge, we will politely say, "our CFO will be with you in a minute, have a seat." 5 minutes pass by. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. At this pont the solicitors legs are bouncing and is giving his watch a glance ever 5.23 seconds (that is an actual calculated and carefully studied statistic). Bossman walks out and says something like, "any messages" and then shoot the solicitor a glance, just to say, "oh I forgot you were sitting there waiting on me..."

3. (my personal favorite) A solicitor pulls up in his fancy car and gets out, straightens his tie, and checks his teeth for any remnants of his steak lunch and turns to walk in the door. Somone sounds the solicitor alarm and Bossman hobbles and wobbles just as quickly as he can to be in the main lobby just as the solicitor walks in the door. And this is the dialogue that happens:

"Stop right there!" - bossman
Solicitor stops.
"Ok, now look at the door you just opened." - bossman
Solicitor takes a step back and looks.
"What does that sign say?" - bossman
"It says no solicitors" - solicitor
"Thank you and have a nice day." - bossman.

I love my job.