Solicitors

So...being a small business in a busy business neighborhood, we here at work get a ton of solicitors. And even though we have a "no soliciting" sign on the front door, they persist to march right on through the door and announce their sales pitch with puffed out chests and loud, proud voices. My boss' response varies with whatever mood he's in. Here are a few examples:

1. As the solicitor walks in someone will yell out some sort of warning which will prompt bossman to hop out of his seat, walk around the corner and with cold voice ask, "can I help you?" The solicitors usually shutter at the sound of his voice...it actually sends a shiver down their spine (and mine too...it's that scary). All of the sudden the room transforms into a battle field and Bossator and SoliciTron go into full combat until Solicitron limps and whimpers out the door, lacking any pride he walked in with.

2. When we see the solicitor approaching someone [again] will holler out a caution in the bossman's general direction and He'll say he will be right there. When the solicitor walks in and asks for whoever is in charge, we will politely say, "our CFO will be with you in a minute, have a seat." 5 minutes pass by. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. At this pont the solicitors legs are bouncing and is giving his watch a glance ever 5.23 seconds (that is an actual calculated and carefully studied statistic). Bossman walks out and says something like, "any messages" and then shoot the solicitor a glance, just to say, "oh I forgot you were sitting there waiting on me..."

3. (my personal favorite) A solicitor pulls up in his fancy car and gets out, straightens his tie, and checks his teeth for any remnants of his steak lunch and turns to walk in the door. Somone sounds the solicitor alarm and Bossman hobbles and wobbles just as quickly as he can to be in the main lobby just as the solicitor walks in the door. And this is the dialogue that happens:

"Stop right there!" - bossman
Solicitor stops.
"Ok, now look at the door you just opened." - bossman
Solicitor takes a step back and looks.
"What does that sign say?" - bossman
"It says no solicitors" - solicitor
"Thank you and have a nice day." - bossman.

I love my job.