April 11, 2008

Bad Words

So, I'm sitting here right now and all of the other people in this office other than Boss and Ownerman are talking about which words they think are the worst to call another person. Talk about filthy and unprofessional. Now, listen, I have been known to say a bad word or two...or a hundred, but only under two conditions: 1. In the car while someone is being an idiot, or 2. If I think it is funny (which I know stems from my awful pride issue). They are over there like a few drunken sailors. It makes me feel icky. Well, on to more important things.

Data has been received. Even better than the cheese cracker being removed wholly, it is HALF NIBBLED! If I had a camera on my phone, I would send you a picture, but I don't. I guess that's the price you pay to have a ridiculously expensive phone...why did I buy it? I don't know...The QWERTY keyboard is nice...I just wish I had hands micro enough to type on it like a real keyboard...only because that would look unbelievably silly.

April 9, 2008

10 Second Rule May Not Apply

So, I have exciting news. Exciting for me, sad for you, my one or two readers. I put in my two weeker. That's right...well, it's not quite accurate. I actually 3 weeks left to work here and the Fulfillment of Trakk. One might even say, "my Trakk has been fulfilled." That's right Folk(s)! I am moving on to bigger and better things. I have accepted a position for this summer with a missions organization called World Changers. I'll be in Canada. The Good thing is that I may still be able to blog, I will just have to change the name of it from Smorgasbordom to Smorgas-busy-as-crap. Maybe I'll work on that.

Are you ready for a funny story? Ok.

So, I like to snack. My favorite snack, along with millions of other 2ND graders, is apple juice and peperidge farm's cheddar cheese filled cheese crackers. So dad-gum good. The apple juice does something with the weird cheesy paste in between the two orange crackers that makes my mouth dance with glee. Anyway, I started counting some inventory out in the far back corner of the warehouse. To be specific, I was counting DeMarcus Ware signed football helmets. Well, I was also opening a package of my favorite crackers and DROPPED ONE! Oh God of Israel who turns my ashes into beauty, WHY!? Well, there was no way in a million years I was going to apply the 10 second rule because of the vermin I have seen with my own two eyes out in that warehouse. I then proceeded to (out loud) hum the funeral song. It's ok, no one was around. As I bent over to pick it up and throw it away, I decided that it would be a brilliant waste of my time to conduct an experiment. I am going to leave the cracker on the floor in a mostly concealed area to see how long it will stay there until a RAT CARRIES IT OFF! Oh, sick. Sick and GENIUS!

I'll keep you updated...

April 7, 2008

SortKwik Saved My Life

So, I love sortkwik. Have you ever used it? It's this pink waxy-jelly-sticky stuff you can put on your fingers to sort through paper with out having to lick your thumb every 5 seconds and taste whatever was on the paper that you just flipped through. It's awesome.

I have to be real honest and say that I am so tired. I can't think of anything funny to write about. Sorry about that. One downfall of having a job that requires a bunch of sitting around is that it makes me feel more tired than I should. I'm gonna go walk up a ladder or something.